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Dear Image,

So, it is almost your birthday my crazy Image girl! You will be eleven on January 11, 2015...your Golden Birthday (11 on the 11th). We have had quite a few Golden birthdays in the last 6 months--both of my children and now you, my fur-baby.

Most know your story: "The Two Year old (almost 3) Show Dog that I 'saved'". I have owned many dogs and loved them all. With most of them it was easy: purebred, mutts, whatchamacallits, lap dogs...Loving dogs has come easy for me. You, however, my girl have been a challenge. Finally in your 3rd and your forever home, I have loved you more than the others who owned you and have loved you longest. I also know you love me more than anything in the world, though how you convey it is most unique. You're not even able to bear being in a separate room from me without your loud (quite annoying, I might add) crying. We've been together for 8 1/2 years. I've been committed to you and cared for you with all I am, though it has been an act of will and choice and not an easy act of my heart some days as it is with my other dogs. Your intelligent nature requires that I frequently prove that I am the alpha. You make me earn your respect in a way that is often irritating, though, I do choose to love you. I recall the quote from Lady Guinevere to King Arthur in "The First Knight" when she says "Love has many faces. I may look on you differently, but not with less love." She goes on to say that King Arthur is loved by an act of her will which is stronger than her heart. Being a person who feels things deeply--a heart person--but also a strong-willed person, I loved and hated this quote all at once. I understand it better now in having loved you, Image, for almost a decade.

Loving Windsor, Tiffany, Meechie, Jamie, Butch, Cookie, Princess, Sugar, Tiger, Star, etc., etc., was simple. They stole my heart again and again. They wanted to please me. They quickly obeyed, but then again they were not Show Dogs and maybe not quite as acute as you. You , my girl, are willful and constantly make me to you prove that you will do what I say. Yet, there are moments that I do so enjoy you--like when you snuggle next to me or prance around like a deer in such a jovial manner. These moment do capture my heart. I love how you will lay in a big orange and white roan ball at the foot of the tub until I am done or in the floor by my bed when I nap. I love how you press your forehead against my shoulder when you want a hug, and I love how you bare your teeth when I ask you to smile.

When your previous owners bought you because they thought they could make you, mold you into a show dog--a prize--- little did they know the job that was cut out for them. Oh yes, even now I gaze upon your many ribbons and certificates where you won show after show, but it came at a higher price than some of their other dogs required. This I do know, because I know you...and I know them! 

Traveling all the way from Kalamazoo, Michigan to Dallas, North Carolina, I will never forget the first time I saw you. I first met a member of your pack--a Blue Roan English Cocker Spaniel. I saw him in Lowe's Hardware and thought he was majestic enough to inquire about him from his trainer. One thing after another and I met you...the Orange and White Roan. I wanted the blue, but then I saw your sweet, sad face. I didn't feel they loved you or were as proud of you as they should be...so I bought you (Yes! BOUGHT you...at a hefty price, too), and I brought you home to love you. And yes! You have made me prove it over and over again; but Image, I am most proud of my love for you. I am most proud that we stuck it out, and that I didn't quit on you like the others. I know you have been most happy in my home.

Your life expectancy is 11-12 years, though I think you could make it to fifteen. I never thought I would lose my precious Windsor before you, my tough ol' girl. Yet, here you are as willlful as ever. As I was about to save a picture of you for this blog, I received the message "Save Image as..." I laughed. Oh, how sometimes I would like to save you as something else! But then, I would have missed the life lessons I have learned from you...for you are often like me. You are willful when you should listen. You think you know more than me, but you don't. You want your way, when mine is best for you. I think I"ll "save" Image again and again if need be...and I'll think I'll save her as the Image she is! I do love you Image Ol' Girl!

Happy Almost Birthday My Orange Roan Lassie!

There's Been a Change of Plans

There's Been a Change of Plans...This was the title of yesterday's message. Every word and every moment spoke to my heart on so many levels. Pastor Furtick said, "And there's someone out there who has buried a dream. You've stopped believing "it" is possible, but I'm here to tell you, ALL things are possible through Him!" Something just exploded in the deepest part of who I am. That was me!

For someone who is a conclusive planner, this has been a bit challenging. Just the words, "There's been a change of plans" makes my stomache hurt. Yet, plans do change. Pastor Furtick said, that God always has plan, but He frequently doesn't share His plan with us because we would mess it up or worse yet trust the "plan" more than the God who made it.

The past four years have been a roller coaster of changed plans. James and I had planned to adopt a third child. Plans changed. My daughter became my niece. My heart still doesn't understand, but plans change. Sometimes it takes awhile for your heart to catch up with this. Mine still hasn't, even though my mind has long since made the leap. She is a beautiful five year old who often comments on how much her Uncle Jamie loves her. Her indeed was the first to rescue her.

We planned for Tyler to go away to college. This was his dream too. Yet weeks from graduation we began dealing with horrifying seizures. All is well now, and his doctors are amazed at how strong he is (He really is...It's doggone amazing! And what I attribute to a merciful God). Then before we could come up for air, we found out he was to be a father. I discovered this on a Saturday night. I was the last to know. Tyler loves his mama so much and was afraid of breaking my heart. It didn't break my heart, but it did fracture my will a bit. The next day, I couldn't even get out of bed. My family left for church. I went for a ride across a beautiful bridge in High Shoals. What I saw, much to my astonishment, was a white dove perched on the ledge of the bridge. I took a picture of it, and heard God say, "Lisa, peace be still. I will take care of this. You can't control one part of it. You're going to have to trust me."

Trusting Him has been my life's constant, and He has NEVER failed me. Plans change. As I sit on the floor beside my bed at this 3:00 a.m. hour wrapped in my favorite blue bathrobe and listening to Carter breathe in the bed above me, I am so thankful for changed plans. Hearing him call, "Nina, Nina" in the middle of the night as he wraps his tiny arms around my neck is the sweetest feeling in the world. At that moment I am shocked at love that spills from my heart. There is so much love that my heart can't contain it! It often flows from my cheeks! Plans change.

I had not planned for my Daddy to not be here this Christmas. I had not planned for it to hurt so much. It angers me that I my heart won't catch up with my brain on this one. It infuriates me that I can't seem to control the hurt that seems to sneak up on me at unexpected moments. I miss the sound of his voice. I miss his numerous calls throughout the day just to say he loves me. I miss his strong hands holding mine. I miss him letting me cry into his shoulder even as a forty-something year old woman and how he could always fix his little girl. I miss hearing him sing. I miss how infectious his laughter was...and how corny his jokes were. I miss how he was never pressed or stressed and how that caused me to relax. Plans change. Life moves forward.

"Dreams can still be had. Dreams can still come to fruition." I heard Pastor say this yesterday. Plans change, but if they didn't we would miss out on some wonderful things. Yes. When plans change things can be inconvenient, messy and painful, but they often give birth to such wonderful things as the baby Jesus. Plans changed for Mary. She wasn't finished completing her wedding registry when the angel appeared and said, "Surprise! Change of plans! You'll also need a baby registry!" Bless! How frightening! How inconvenient! How out of control! Yet how wonderful the eternal effects!

I love Jeremiah 29:11! God knows the plans He has for us...even when they change. He knows THE PLAN. We know THE PROMISE and it is SO good! It is for a future and a hope...it is for realized dreams! With that said, I think I can actually and tangibly dream now. So with that I will head back to bed beside my sweet little boy and say Good Nite!

Jeremiah 29:11The Message (MSG) 10-11 This is God’s Word on the subject: “As soon as Babylon’s seventy years are up and not a day before, I’ll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.

Hi Handsome!! Oh you have stolen my heart, my sweet prince!

I absolutely without reservation fell head over heels in love at this moment! I love this picture for this reason! I wiped tears and tried to clear my face before this pic was taken...my heart was glowing!

My sweet daddy! His poor bruised hands! Love those hands!

Tyler's graduation...who knew...Buckle up! Life, here we come!

I could eat him!!! OOOUUU!! Yummy!

My happy, happy boy!!

Another sweet change of plans! He has Angelman's Syndrome. I LOVE him! Hugs Jim!

My beautiful niece only days after we brought her home!

Saigon, Salons, Salsa and Sincere Smiles

I stepped out of my car and said, "Lord, I don't want to talk to anyone or be talked to by anyone. I just want to get my nails done as quickly as possible and leave, and please let Anna be in a quiet, mood today. Actually, Lord, it would be great if no one even looked at me." Anna is a beautiful, sanguine, perky, petite, sixty-something nail technician from Saigon. She loves to talk, and I usually accommodate even though I would prefer to sit quietly as she performs her magic on my nails.  I was expecting a sympathetic reply from my Father of "Okay Lisa. It's been tough on you, lately. We'll handle this." No such luck. Instead, He reminded me, "Lisa, this is not your show. You enlisted in a different army a long time ago, and I'm going to need you at your post." Great! Just great! God is kind of like that. He never lets us give less than our best.

As I entered the salon, I quickly realized I was the only customer. Again...just great! Anna's husband stepped inside from the back door. He was wearing a brown corduroy jacket--slightly too big for him. His slightly too long salt and pepper colored hair extended from his black toboggan and his tender eyes peered over his glasses that rested on the bridge of his nose. He is a quiet soul, but his sweet face says much. He nodded to me and shuffled toward Anna to hand her the items she would need to help me.

Anna began chattering immediately. I often don't understand much of what she says, so it is with great effort that I have to try and listen. This is quite a task for an ADHD girl who also noticed that they were playing a movie starring Tom Selleck on their very visible T.V. Yes, this would be an extra challenge tonight. 

Anna began questioning why she hadn't seen me in so long. She began fussing over my very cropped nails. She began inquiring about my holiday plans. Ugghhh! I didn't have the stamina for small talk, so I just told her the truth. I said this would be the first year without my dad, and I missed him a lot. At that, my chatty, motherly friend stopped. She was sitting at my feet. She said, "Lisa, I know. I share with you. I understand." She began to tell me how she had lost her son when he was only thirty years old. She explained that he died in Saigon, but that she couldn't afford to go home and pay her last respects. She explained that her mother had been furious with her for this lack of respect and honor toward the son. She also explained that her mother had died only a few weeks following her son. As she talked I saw her cute, tiny nose turn pink and her beautiful almond shaped eyes fill with tears. As she talked she stroked my feet and gently rubbed my legs. A tear or two rolled down my face as I felt her pain. I had never known that Anna had experienced such grief. She is such a happy soul. She smiles with all she is, and this makes her so beautiful to me. This makes her seem so young to me.

I understood in that moment that the gift of my time to Anna was also God's gift of healing to me. As the time passed, Anna true to form chatted away and enjoyed being able to converse with an "active listener" (even if the listener sometimes had to fake it). Anna always shares some "American" favorite recipe with me each time I am there. I don't know why, and she never shares Asia ones--when I am there. I often wish she would share authentic Asian recipes. Maybe she thinks I would like the others better. Today, she wanted to tell me how to make a simple salsa. "Lisa, this easy...you try....you work hard...you clean house...you care for family...this recipe easy...You family like". I smiled. My heart swelled with love for this little woman. As I opened up and allowed her to share, I discovered that she also speaks French! Who knew?! She learned it in school as a little girl. She spoke French to me as she worked. It was beautiful. Her accent was amazing! I understood more of her French than her English. She educated me on the difference between Spanish spoken in Spain (where I have had the pleasure to visit) and Spanish spoken in Mexico (where I have also been blessed to visit). All the while she commented on my feet. "Lisa, you wear heels again for winter! I see! Look here! You must be careful. See how much better I make it. Lisa, where you get this mark. Something bite you? Look you bruise. How? You sure you like this (nail) color? You sure? I change for you."

When it was finally time to leave, I paid; but then I said, "Anna, will you wax my eyebrows?" I usually do my own, but I could tell this would be a treat for her. She said, "Yes. I be happy to. Sit. You sit." She applied hot wax, pulled, tweezed, plucked; and at last, we were done! I said goodbye and stood to leave. As I stepped away, Anna said, "No. Lisa. You wait." She hurried to the back of the salon. I thought, "Great! She is going to get a hand-held mirror so I can inspect her work. Honestly, it's okay, Anna. I trust you." When she returned, I was wrong again. Anna held out a little box of candles. She said, "Happy birthday, Lisa, and Merry Christmas!" I was stunned. I quickly grabbed her tiny little shoulders in my arms and hugged her. Wow! Just when we think we have given so much, God reminds us that we can never out give Him! Thank you my sweet, little, beautiful Anna in your tiny, black sock feet, tonight! What a precious gift you were to me! I love my purple candles, but not nearly as much as I love you!