And with that...there I sat in Parking Lot 3. The hospital was there. The parking lot was there. I was there. Everything would have looked the same to an observer. Yet, there was a major difference inside of my heart from the last visit to this one. My dad was not there this time. How strange the feeling that overwhelms you in a moment like this. How rich the grace of God in this moment! The last time I visited this hospital, I had in tow several California Salads from O'Charley's and several lidded beverages. I remember the sun shining down, unlike today, as I relish in the rain that I love. It was hot that day, and I struggled to carry our nourishment, my phone and my car keys as I made my way to my dad's hospital room. I was glad to feed my family a more healthy option than burgers. I laughed with Dad as we sneaked him some salad and a bite of the scrumptious yeast role---breaking the rules, of course. My mama did spoil him so! I have never been so happy about breaking the rules as this moment. He enjoyed every single bite. I loved watching him, and I savored every second as I etched his face into my soul--burning every beautiful curve and every rigid line in my mind forever! What a beautiful man he was in every way!
But I digress! Today, was a day of abundant grace for me. It was a day when my Abba Father Who has loved me longer and loves me most made special preparation to protect and care for me. I orginally planned on working a half day, today, in preparation for a doctor's visit that afternoon. However, I felt my body needed some rest. So, I indulged and took the whole day. I never rent movies at a movie store as I am a member of several online movie establishments, but yesterday on the way home from work I stopped and grabbed a "few". :) What I really wanted wasn't there, but there was one last copy of "The Other Woman", so it became mine for a day or two. I am not a good movie companion. I always start a movie in one sitting and finish it in another. My ADHD won't let me sit still that long. I started the movie last night and probably wouldn't have finished it until this evening except that my friend Debby Ray convinced me that I needed to finish it promptly! I wouldn't have been able to finish it if I had only taken that half day. The movie was hysterical and everything you would want in a Chick Flick. There was a scene on the beach with three best friends watching the sunset. As they watched, they stood silently supporting and caring for each other. It included a song by Britt Nicole "The Sun is Rising", and the chorus included my dad's favorite words to me, "You're gonna make it." I could hear him say, "You're gonna make it, Lisa. Daddy loves you" as I replay his voicemail recording to me over again. Long story short, I bought the song and listened to it on repeat all the way from Lincolnton down Union Road toward South Carolina where my doctor's office is. Little did I know how much I would need this song as a reminder in about an hour.
It was during this doctor's visit that I discovered we would be doing further tests at CMC in Lincolnton--my dad's hospital---the one I have only visited when he was there! Really? Why not Charlotte? Or better yet, why not Gastonia since that's where we were? My doctor was perplexed by the stunned look on my face. She thought the timing was the problem, but it was actually the location that was problematic for me. She couldn't possibly have known, and I didn't say. So, there I was. I drove alone to CMC where I had driven two and half months ago and where my life drastically began to change. As an extreme nurturer, "alone" works best for me in these situations. This way, I don't have to be distracted about trying to make sure everyone else isn't stressed and that they are okay. This way, I can just handle me. It's less complicated that way. As I drove, I listened to Britt Nicole as she repeatedly sang, "You're gonna make it. You're gonna make it. The night can only last so long. Lift up your eyes and see the sun is rising." I felt such peace; and yes...there were more tears thatn I would have liked as I sat in Parking Lot 3 one hour before my appointment. There was also a moment of grieving, but mostly there was peace and such joy! My dad wasn't here, today, because he had made it home! He wasn't struggling to breath. Instead he was with the One who graciously grants us each of those breaths. Moreover, this Heavenly Father knew exactly where I would be at 5:00, today, when I didn't have a clue. He knew how torn I would be, and he knew I would cry. He even counted every one of my shed tears before a single one fell. He guided my steps to rent a stupid movie with a precious song(he takes the foolish things to confound the wise 1 Cor. 1:27). He prompted me to find the song and buy it so that I would have one more cherished reminder of His faithfulness at just he right moment in Parking Lot 3. One more reminder that, "You're Gonna Make It, Lisa! Daddy loves you very much!" And that my friends is not just my earthly daddy, but also my Heavenly Daddy! I have passed that hospital many times the past few weeks, each time refusing to glance at it. Today, was the day for me to return. It was sooner than I thought...more quickly than I would have planned, but Parking Lot 3 met her match, today! I am stronger than I look...stronger than I even think I am...because when my strength is gone; His strength is perfect! (2 Corinthians 12:9)
Beautiful!!!
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