This morning, I remember my Grandmother Pannell's sweet country voice singing "Count Your Blessings--Name them One by One---Count Your Blessings See What God Hath Done" and "There Shall Be Showers of Blessings". She wasn't an eloquent singer as she grew up in the mountains of N.C. There wasn't time for frivolities or fluff. You had to get right down to the essentials; and her singing reflected this same philosophy- but I loved it! I always knew she meant every word she sang to God with all heart. I also knew that at that moment He was really all that mattered to her, even though she would have walked through fire for any of us. He was her "All in All"! Ephesians 4:6. Though she was insignificant, I guess, by the world's standards, she was a tower house of faith to those who knew her. She still influences my life, today, and there is not a moment that my heart isn't pricked at the loss of her.
So, Grandma...I am counting my blessings this morning. It would take more ink and paper than this world could provide to complete them; but this is my meager initial listing as a record for posterity's sake and as a reminder to me of how faithful God has been to me at every stage of my life. In the moments when I thought my heart would shatter into a thousand pieces, in the moments when I thought it would burst with sheer joy, in the moments when I felt that I was alone in the dark with no one to rescue me and in the moments when I felt as if I could conquer the world myself...He was there. He will be there. He will never leave us. He will never forsake us (Deut. 31: 6).
1. I am super thankful, this morning, for Carter...Almost two years ago, I couldn't see how we would make this work in a way that would be good for him, for Tyler, for Erin for the Guffey's for us. I remember The Guffey/Montgomery family meeting. I remember the love we all had for each other and the strength we found from each other in that moment as we admitted we were vulnerable and we had no answers--as we admitted that we were in this together to see it through, quite honestly for the rest of our lives. We were taking this journey without answers, without seeing the future. We were taking it by faith and through God; and it has been so AWESOME! As I held our little peanut in my arms last night, my heart was filled with such love that it overflowed down my cheeks. I loved the smell of soap in his hair. I loved how his soft, little hands would brush my cheeks, twirl my hair or pinch at my chin. I love how his feet are never still...even when he sleeps. Having been here before with Tyler, Meleah, my nieces and my nephews, I was acutely aware of how fast this moment passes. So, I savored it. Though tired, I enjoyed every fleeting second. Thank you God for looking ahead in time and planning on Carter. Thank you most of all for loaning him to us for a little while, and may we honor you in directing him toward you in all we do and say.
2. I am thankful for my son, this morning. He will be working a double at the nursing home, again. He works very hard, and I don't think I could do his job. Between college, work, trying to continue to grow a relationship with the love of his life, Erin, and caring for Carter, it can be tough. I am proud of his strength, his work ethic and his focus! He isn't perfect, but that is what makes him great. He knows Who to turn to to help when he is weak. If we had instilled nothing further in him, having Tyler to know God...and I mean really know God would have been enough. I ask that you continue to provide Tyler and Erin with wisdom from You and give them hearts that desire You above all else.
3. I am thankful for my beautiful, spunky, more than slightly strong-willed daughter. She and her buddy are sleeping like rocks across the house from us at this moment. While I know they will not be gracing our presence for many more hours yet, I anxiously await their sleepy smiles and girlish giggles! I am proud to have worked with Jamie to raise a daughter that is so resolute and determined. She can push us to the boiling point sometimes, but down deep, I am always a little proud of her tenacity. Her heart will no doubt lead her into the health care profession; but she would have been an outstanding lawyer! Thank you God for giving me a daughter with a precious, tender heart and a strong, determined mind.
4. I am thankful for my husband. He is strong, yet kind. He is driven, yet his heart is easily moved. He has allowed me to draw strength from him when I was depleted. He has been my voice when I didn't have one. He has been the arms that held me when I needed no words. He is so predictable and steady! Sometimes this is annoying to someone who enjoys surprises and the spice of life, but it has proved to provide stability and security in our home---which is a priceless treasure. Even this morning, our alarm went off only moments after Carter had fallen back to sleep. We do not need an alarm on the weekend!!! But...alas, my husband is such a creature of habit, we got an alarm, this morning (by "we", I mean Carter and me. Poor Paw Paw got booted out of the bed...sorry Paw Paw). When it was resounding only a matter of 6 feet away from Carter...and MANY feet away from Jamie, I went into panic mode to get it to stop. For a moment, I felt a bit annoyed that he had it set it and wasn't in the room anyway; but then I recalled that this same predictability affords me the ability to NEVER set the thing through the work week when I do need it (providing I am not experiencing this ridiculous insomnia). In twenty two years, the only times I've ever set an alarm is when he and I have been apart; and this has been rare. This little extra responsibility that he takes off my plate is nice! That in itself is a blessing! The good news is...Carter wasn't even phased. I am truly shocked! That alarm could wake the dead, but Carter slept through it. Of course, his Nina was on top of that alarm like white on rice. Lol! I am thankful for this, too!!
I could go on and on about my dogs, my family, the life experiences that I've been afforded, but as I said there isn't enough ink. or paper. or time. The impressive aspect of this moment is that I am actually getting sleepy. Thank you, Grandma for reminding to count my blessings! I think I'll sleep on them now!!
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