Sit Wiff Me, Pease!

We entered her room which was a little too warm for comfort: blinds slightly open, no television or radio to break up the deafening silence, only the hustle and bustle of hurried footsteps outside her door. Her back was to us as we entered her room, and we beheld her as she looked through the slits in her blinds. Her little, frail hands were gently folded atop a shawl as it covered her slight legs that perched on the footrests of her wheelchair. She was the picture of elegance and calm, though undeniably lonely. I had not met her yet, but I already loved her. For sake of anionimity, let's call her Ellen. She is a resident of the nursing home where my son works, and where he invests a bit of his soul each day. To say that I am proud of my son is an understatement. To see him in his element as he cares for these geriatric dear ones is one of my greatest joys.

My grandson, my niece, my mother and I had come to the nursing home to visit Tyler, my handsome boy, so that Tyler's son, Carter, could have lunch with his dad. Dressed in his pre-Halloween fireman suit Carter was excited to see his dad as always and share some fast food and Daddy-Son talk. I was excited to see the affection and tenderness exchanged between two of the loves of my life. Before the lunch date ended, Tyler decided we should meet his favorite resident, Ellen. We were eager to see this lady that he was beaming about as he talked of her.

Ellen was everything you would want in a grandmother. She declared to us that she WAS Tyler's grandma. She was not confused or experiencing dementia, she was merely letting us know she had adopted him as her own. I was grateful. I was proud. I was touched deeply. I reached to shake her hand and thank her for loving my boy. Her hands were pale, small and soft as velvet. I resisted the urge to bring them to my cheeks and experience their warm, softness on my face. She reminded me so much of my grandmother, and I immediately knew why Tyler loved her. My motley crew quickly brought an end to the silence and solitude of her room, but I could tell it was a welcomed change. My niece, Mari, sat on her bed and chattered away. My grandson, at first shy, soon warmed to her patient demeanor and gentle discourse. He looked at a senior magazine with her as if it were the best Mickey Mouse book around. My son was proud of how his son welcomed Ellen into his heart. I was honored to be an onlooker at this moment. Leaving Ellen was hard. She wanted us to stay longer, but the duties and responsibilities of life have a way of keeping us moving forward. Hugs, expressions of gratitude and a trek to the car later we were on our way home.

What a day! After taking my niece home for the evening and allowing the cousins to say tearful good-byes (not because they never see each other, but because they wanted more fun, more games, more play...sounds pretty good to me!) We had visited Lewis Farms, ridden a wagon, fed some pigs and other farm animals, zoomed down some pretty amazing slides, met old acquaintances, made new friends and were finally now ready to settle into the evening and prepare for church tomorrow. I gave Carter some milk and apple slices and put on his favorite movie, "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs". My plan was to mop (babies always equal mopping and sticky spills, I think...but it's actually kind of nice...when you have babies, you must have dogs...It's a free vacuuming service! Of course, I digress). I also had the neverending laundry pile, some cooking and various other chores and my own homework responsibilities. So, it was going to be multitasking mode for me. As the movie began, I walked away to begin my work and I heard the sweetest wee voice that can cause me to move mountains. It said, "Nina, da movie starting. Sit wiff me, Nina!" Nina, Nana Lisa, paused for a moment. I was about protest, but I remembered Ellen. I remembered her sitting in the nursing home at peace, but alone. She would love for someone to sit "wiff" her or for her to sit "wiff" someone. She would gladly forego any of life's mundane, incessant chores for a moment of fellowship. My mind went back eleven years ago, and I remembered being in the same house where Carter's father had sat in that very same spot that he sat now. Tyler was ten years old then and didn't really ask me to sit with him anymore except when we did family devotions at night. I remembered how tired I was in those days after doing homework with my children, packing lunches, preparing dinner, cleaning  up, making sure everyone was bathed and ready for the next day. I remembered relishing my alone time, which seemed to be very rare (how life has changed...and how life is still the same is humorous). Standing there looking at Carter's beautiful brown eyes I reflected on how I would love to turn back time and sit "wiff" my son and my daughter again. Both of my children are driving now and quickly preparing to leave my nest. My how time does fly! How the days quickly pass without us noticing. Only six months ago my dad was here, and now life is different. Things do change, as they say. Surely this life is but a vapor. It is here today and gone tomorrow, and at the end all that really matters is how well we have loved. 

 "Hey...Nina...Sit wiff me, pease! Wook! Da movie starting!" He pleaded again as he patted the spot beside him. He was right! This was the "Best Yes!" as I have been learning. I have said yes to a lot of the less important things lately, but tonight, I think I'll sit wiff my Carter for awhile as we save the world vicariously through animated scientists, some imaginary paint-on shoes and some Italian main dishes!! He nestled in a ball underneath my arm. I buried my nose in his blonde hair and kissed his Johnson and Johnson Baby Shampoo scented locks. The kisses were too many to count. He permitted it. He enjoyed it. My heart grew another inch, I am sure, as I relished this moment with an unexpected little gift that I was allowed to hold in my arms for this delicate moment. It was then I realized anew that we are constantly bombarded with gifts. It's up to us to notice them, to embrace them, to experience them, to choose the best "yes" of the day! 

"Learning how to be still-to really be still-and let life happen, that stillness becomes a radiance!" 

Morgan Freeman