On one of my early morning powder puff breaks with a colleague who is my dearest friend and mentor I told her that I thought I was pregnant. I was excited about a baby, but didn't know how we would make it work. I couldn't afford to come home from work. Our son was in private school which left us with very little extra resources at the end of the month; and there was no way to afford daycare. I had no answers, but I will always remember what Wanda said to me this day. "Lisa, your God is not unrighteous to forget your labor of love in that you have ministered to these babies everyday. You pour yourself into them and show them you love them and that God loves them. God would not allow you to care for these babies and then abandon yours." She then did something astounding that I have remembered many times as we have reared Meleah. She grabbed my hands and looking up at me with her gorgeous chocolate colored eyes, she said, "I am going to pray that God gives you a Deborah." I didn't think too much of it at the time, but oh how true this has proven to be! For those of you that know your Bible history you will know that Deborah was one of the 12 judeges in the Old Testament. She is the only woman mentioned in the esteemed Biblical leadership roles of: Disciples, Tribes of Israel, Judges, etc. She was a military strategist and an esteemed leader in a time and place where this was by far atypical. It was just not done. As it is recalled in Judges chapter 5, when Jabin the King of Canaan was going to attack Israel, Deborah gave a military plan that would counteract Jabin's attempt. Without delay the Israelites begin to follow Deborah's God inspired plan, Barak, Israel's military leader, would not even go into battle without Deborah. She asked him to allow her to stay behind so as not to take any of the glory from him, but being a wise man, he insisted that she come, too. As the story ends, Sisera, Canaan's military, leader was brutally killed by another woman, in this chapter. Her name was Jael. So, my daughter was being placed right in the middle of the story of these strong-willed, before their time, cutting edge women. I have often wondered why Wanda didn't ask for Meleah to be like Esther or Hannah or even Mary, but no... we have Deborah! "Deborah's" mama has had to learn to be Deborah too!
Meleah has never been afraid of anything. Her brother and I would stand wincing as she climed far too high in the trees and went far too fast down the hill on wheels that were zooming! She has always grabbed life by the tail and hung on with all she is and all she has. As a nurturer, I would love nothing more than to wrap her in a cocoon. Though she is a snuggler and very affectionate, she has never allowed me to smother her. She has always maintained her independence. Those of you who have raised strong-willed children will understand what an honor it is for God to think you are up the task. There are days when I wonder. You will also understand that there is nothing more beautiful than seeing this child grow day to day. They fight hard, they play hard, they work hard, and oh! they do love hard! Watching Meleah love is one of God's greatest gifts to me.
As of late, my girl and I have had to have some stand-offs...and I have to win as the parent. This is not fun. Breaking a strong-willed child is more painful than anything, but there are sometimes when follow-though is necessary. This is one of the hardest, most rewarding and most important things I've ever done. I have finally understood in recent days why God gave me a Deborah. We needed each other. I needed her to make me tougher, because whimping out at being her mom is not an option. She only has one mom...and God gave that job to me (and I am thankful everyday that He picked me for her). Likewise she needed me. Sometimes when she is out slaying her dragons and winning her kingdoms and being brave and strong, she will get wounded. I am her safe place to land until she is ready to fight again.
One day her prince will come; although, she may be the one to sweep him off his feet. I wouldn't doubt it! One thing I know for sure. He will not win her heart without a fight, and whoever he is...he will have to be strong, smart and willing to lose some sleep to keep up with her. I am not ready to relinquish her just yet...but this fellow is often in my prayers even now for wherever he is! During these moments ahead and as my little warrior princess is on the brink of starting her own adventure, I am enjoying a ring side view as I watch her slaying her dragons and standing up for what she believes.
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