You're Still Gonna Make It

You're Gonna Make It! This is what I heard  from my dad on a voicemail for the first time only hours after he had passed. Little did he know how much that would carry me in the months and "almost" years that followed. Little would he know how much replaying his words would mean to me as I lay one night balled up tightly on my side in the dark on my closet floor weeping until I couldn't breathe--- and missing him with more pain than I thought I could bear. Nor would Dad know with how much gentleness and clarity I heard Jesus say to my heart in that moment, "Lisa, listen to me, Daughter. You will laugh again. You will love again. The sun will rise again."

           When life has cut too deep and left you hurting. 

           The future you had hoped for is now burning

           And the dreams you held so tight have lost their meaning

           And you don't know if you'll ever find the healing.

           You're gonna make it. You're gonna make it.

           The night can only last for so long

           Whatever you're facing.... if your heart is breaking...

            There's a promise for those who just hold on.

            Lift up your eyes and see---the sun is rising!

My dad was a kind man, a giving man, a loving man, but he was an anointed man. He radiated with God's power because allowed God to love through him and to use him. There's nothing powerful than love---especially God's love. My dad's words changed people's lives, because he allowed God to shape his words. God has used Dad's children this way when we've let him. And these moments have been some of my most priceless memories. Today was one of those days for me. 

There has been too many moments as of late when I have wanted to fade into the wall. I've prayed, "Lord, please, don't make me have to talk. It would okay with me if I wasn't even noticed."  Unfortunately, God is too good and has too much invested to let us be flies on the wall. He meant to prove that to me, today.  Twice before lunch God told me what to say to young woman that I knew in my heart was struggling. I wasn't feeling up to the task. I resisted with a ton of excuses. I really didn't feel I had anything to invest. Funny thing! God is faithful to remind us it is never about our investment! LOL! It's always about His! The second time He told me to minister to this girl, I knew better than to resist. I felt His presence and His love for this girl. My heart was flooded with such compassion for her. I knew it was Him prompting me. He allowed me to see her like He sees her. I loved her until my heart overflowed with His love. I knew she masking a broken heart. A Complex story--simplified in a few words:
        He allowed me to hug her. He allowed her to shed a tear, and He allowed me to minister
        His hope to her. She left knowing that He had chosen this moment especially for her. 

In truth! God not only used this moment to minister to her. He used this moment to continue his healing process in me. Giving to someone else---especially when you're giving out of your own need---always brings the beginning of restoration. In the midst of this God reminded me of another truth. He didn't leave me without help, today. God had blessed me with a sweet colleague who was there at just the right moment when I needed to minister to this girl. My colleague, Aundrea, many never know how much her quiet, tender spirit provided strength for me, today. She may never know how her presence gave me the extra faith and the assurance that I needed. God gave her to me, so I could give to someone else. He's awesome in how He works that way!

On the way home I heard the following song "The Sun is Rising-- You're Gonna Make It". The timing was perfect and no doubt Divine! As I cried some cleansing tears I remembered when I first heard this song and I was reminded, "Lisa, listen to me, Daughter. You will laugh again. You will love again." And ya know what? I have loved and will love, because He continues to pour His love inside of me!

I'm still gonna make it, Dad! I know you were proud, today! Still love you with all my heart and am learning to laugh more each day!