My dad was (and still is) one of the strongest men I know. He is determined but flexible, kind but firm and so, so, so jolly! He was the first fella I ever loved and no other fella could ever take his special place in my heart. His voice is one of my favorites. Even now, after his stroke, when I sometimes don't understand his words, I still love his voice--especially when he calls me by name. I love to hear the timbre of it. It always makes me feel safe and leaves me unconsciously smiling.
One of my fondest memories of him was a day when my family and several others gathered for a picnic at "the river" in the mountains of North Carolina. The weather was perfect: sunny and warm with a slight breeze. The smell of hamburgers and hotdogs filled the air, and my buddies were letting out joyous window-shattering screams as they soared on a rope hanging from a tree in order to free-fall into the river below. It looked like such fun as I watched them soaring through the air--my crazy twin brother among them!
I, on the other hand, was once again being my daddy's shadow. We were in the river. He was chest deep and continued to wade deeper and deeper into the water. I followed him as far as I could, finally perching on a very slippery rock where the water came to my chest. My daddy turned and looked at me. Then, he looked at my crazy monkey of a brother hooping and hollering from the treetops. He must have wondered if I was having as much fun as Troy, my brother. The fact is, I was totally enjoying having my dad all to myself. My dad finally caught my green eyes with his dark brown ones and said, "Lisa...just jump." He smiled very gently. My head said, "No way!" (which is something my mouth would never have said to him). I stared blankly at him for a minute. He repeated, "Lisa, just jump. I've got ya." His eyes never left mine. My heart was screaming, "You know he's got ya. He loves you more than his own life. Jump, Girl". My head was saying, "Are you crazy? That water will be over your head!". The struggle between heart and head seemed to last forever, but finally my heart won. I jumped! For a nanosecond, I began to sink. Water was blurring my vision. Bubbles poured from my lips. I was doubting my decision to jump and starting to get pretty scared, but then...there he was. Those gigantic arms that had helped him win numerous wrestling matches in the service were now tenderly, but powerfully pulling me through the water and up to the surface where he was. I remember him draping my tiny arms around his neck as my legs dangled in the water. He was laughing (I was coughing a bit), and he said, "See? That wasn't bad now. Was it?" The truth is, it wasn't bad. The bigger shock was that it was actually more fun the deeper we treaded into the river. He knew what I didn't. Sometimes you just have to jump!
In so many ways in my life, I'm back at "the river" right now. This season of my life is that nanosecond where I am wondering if I really should have jumped...and what is going to happen next. The truth is...I know that while Daddy can't grab me up into his strong arms again, Abba Father can! I'm just waiting and knowing that at any moment, I will feel myself soaring up through the heavy weight of the river and toward the light of the Son where my lungs will soon be renewed and refreshed. I will laugh and know that all along deeper is better and Abba has had me all along! Sometimes you just have to jump!
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