Ziel-Lor's Incantation AKA Image

Ziel-Lor's Incantation is an Orange Roan English Cocker Spaniel and retired show dog whose registration number is SR 14389607. That's a mouthful for the ten year old four-legged furbaby who has found her forever home with me. I know you think this is going to be a sappy love story about a dog that won my heart. Unfortunately, it is not.

Incantation was such a long name, that her former owners called her Image. I distinctly remember the day I met her. Having spent a decade with essentially no real pets, my husband finally agreed to allow me to get "one". I was able to have Meechie flown in from Kansas. Meechie is a spunky red and white Japanese Chin that makes me laugh daily. We only owned her for several weeks when I just knew that dogs were like potato chips: "You can't have just one." I always wanted a Cavalier King Charles (just FYI...I have one of those, too--His name is Windsor, and he is a snuggle bug. He is also the baby of the pack), and I was investigating breeders at the same time I was remodeling my house. It was on a trip to Lowe's that I saw the most striking Blue Roan English Cocker Spaniel, that I had ever seen. He was being socialized by a very astute handler. I asked many questions about this dog and discovered the breeders had an Orange Roan female who needed a forever home. Plans were already in the making for me to meet her.

Meechie and I ventured to the breeder's establishment and I laid eyes on Image. There she was. A three year old furbaby who had only ever known this family, and they did not want her anymore because she was getting too old to use as a show dog. She would definitely be retired by five, and they were getting a jump start on the process. She had won numerous ribbons for them (which I often enjoy holding), but they were ready for a new challenge, a newer model, something with more pizzazz. When I saw her, my heart didn't leap the way it did when I met Meechie or Windsor. She was the wrong color, larger than the dog I had met in Lowe's and not nearly as perky in my eyes. She was very obedient, though...almost too obedient. It was like her personality became what they wanted it to be and not her own. And her name? Really? Image? The mere definition means that she is a representation of the "real" thing. What an awful name. Image is THE real thing. Honestly, though, I didn't want her. I know this sounds crazy, but the very fact that I didn't want her is exactly why I have made a commitment to her for over seven years now. Crazy? Probably.

Let me explain. My thinking was: "How could you have loved a pet for three years, spent as much time as it took to get those show ribbons (she has a lot of ribbons and awards), feed her, groom her, care for her and then decide you wanted to discard her when she was only a few years a way from retiring where she could then be your pet?" This is still foreign to me. I thought if I didn't want her, who would? They had already tried to give her to another lady, but she wanted a dog with more personality. Even to this day, Image will correct me if I don't walk her properly on a leash. It's hard to bond with a show dog. There are too many rules and not enough freedom (there's a sermon in there if I had time to preach it). So, I figured I could do this job, and I have for seven years now.

I blog about this tonight, because I find myself in a unique place with Image. Yes, bonding with her took some time; but she adores me to the point that it can be overwhelming at times. She won't even leave my side when I bathe and is always under my feet. I love all my furbabies the same, but truth be known, I like them differently. I wish I could say I liked Image as much as the others, but she is harder to like. I care for them equally, express my love for them equally, but my heart sometimes betrays me. She has been a bit of a handful lately, as she has developed some habits I have never seen in her. Sometimes I wonder if she is developing Dementia. For example, she adores tissue and paper. She wants to eat it at all cost. We are forever playing the game of hide the trash and hide the tissue--which I have long since tired of. My best efforts of retraining her and purchasing enough bones and chew toys to sink a ship have only made little progress. Sometimes I look at her and wonder what my life would be like if I had not brought her home seven years ago, and I immediately feel guilty. I know she won't have many more years left, and I do want to make her last ones the best.

In closing, I just have to say, she has taught me a lot. She's taught me about me. She is the most costly to me of my three dogs not only in grooming fees but also in physical resources, lately. She seems to be taking more than she's giving; but as I sit on the floor with my three furbabies surrounding me I realize several things. She is the closest in proximity to me. While I look down at her sweet grandmotherly face and sagging eyes her stub of a tails wags profusely as I rub her extravagantly soft, graying hair. I believe she is thankful, and I am thankful, too. She has taught me that love is a choice not a feeling. She has taught me that you can commit to something that's hard even when it takes longer than you thought and when you're are getting less out of it than you should. One day, I know I will miss tripping over this full figured fur ball, and I will no doubt miss my extra floor adornment as I bathe. Mostly I will miss knowing that there is nothing in this world that this creature loves more than me...except maybe tissue paper!!! Uggh!

Where Everybody Knows Your Name

My brother and I were the only babies born that night in the Pasquotank area hospital at the Outer Banks of North Carolina. In such a small town, everyone knew when a baby was born...but being twins made us all the more special! For years to come, strangers would greet my mom, my brother and me in the grocery store and say, "Ohhhh....that's our twins!" This was lovely! I enjoyed being born in a small town where everyone knew everyone else and where strangers were still family.

My charismatic, charming insurance salesman of a dad soon decided that he was called to be a pastor. We left our little, quaint Outer Banks community and spent several years roaming from church to church from one end of our beautiful southern state to the other. I went from being one of "Our Twins" to "The New Girl" over night. I hated this more than anything. 

When my brother and I became adolescents, my parents decided to once again establish some roots. Afterall, the instability of raising two teenagers was enough of a roller coaster ride for my parents, and I believe God completely understood. He may have even found some humor in it all. It was during this season that we established deep roots in the western side of Gaston County. I was no longer the new girl! Yay!

I loved my new community so much that I completed my education there and became an educator in this same community. I loved it so much that I served there for close to two decades. I enjoyed going to the grocery store and seeing my students and their families. I loved having parents come up to me at community ball games and tell me they were requesting that their child be in my class the next year. I relished visiting the local churches to see my students perform in some play or special program of one sort or another. Everybody knew my name, and I knew theirs! I never wanted to leave my home again and had no plans of becoming "The New Girl" again.

Well, life is funny, and I've found that we can never say never. This year, I was "The New Girl" again. I was assigned to work in the Belmont area. It was like saying I would be working in Egypt. I knew nothing of Belmont except for my brief time at Belmont Abbey College where I obtained my undergraduate degree; and Lord knows I had my face buried in books the whole time then to maintain my 4.0 average. So, I knew little of the Belmont Community. I was quite nervous about the change.

I began getting to know the people I would serve, making myself available over and above what was required and generally being "The New Girl" who was trying to find her place. These past few months have taught me that those "New Girl" skills which I painfully acquired have been quite the blessing. I also found out that I ADORE my east side new family! They are so dear to me!

It was the past few days that I realized I am no longer "The New Girl". The revelation was precious, priceless and a bit emotional for me. As I was frantically making my way down the walkway of my high school to assist a teacher who needed me, I passed by a group of ROTC boys who were doing their routine drill and practice. I was trying to ease past them so as not to disturb their intense routine. It was in this moment that I heard, "Hey there Mrs. Montgomery! How are you, today?" A bit stunned I turned to see one of those sweet ROTC students calling to me. He knew my name! Then earlier today, I was walking to a classroom at one of my middle schools. I saw a small group of students socializing in between classes. I passed the group and one of the boys very sweetly--yet casually---said, "Hey Mrs. Montgomery." I turned to look at him and am still not 100% sure I know where to place him, but he knew my name. So, I hope that means when I taught in his class I showed him in that brief moment that he was valuable and that I cared. This is my commitment whether I serve on the east, west or anywhere in between.

I'm not "The New Girl" anymore! Yay me! Yay to the little Lisa inside of me who learned some valuable skills long ago. Yay to the more mature Lisa who was willing to adopt to another change in life! I am happy to retire this title for now, but I never say never. Who knows when I may get to wear that hat again and this time with all the more confidence.

Sometimes You Get to Fly the Coup

There he was so soft and gentle looking at me with those intense but muted eyes. He was a chocolate brown with a hint of purplish blue. His feathers were gorgeous, and around one of his delicate, pink ankles was a band that told his story. He was one of the prettiest pigeons I have ever seen. As I held him in my hands listening to his distinct pigeony coos, I was equally elated and perplexed. Elated because I love me some animals and perplexed because, "What in the world was I going to do with a bird?'

I received a phone call from one of my coworkers, who is about as animal crazy as I am, that a homing pigeon needed a home---ironic, huh? He was stranded on a playground where he couldn't fly, and it was a very cold snowy day. A teacher took him home for some respite and began nurturing him, feeding him and helping him regain his strength. All of her attempts to contact the owner had failed, so she was now his new caregiver. Unfortunately, the felines in her home were as intrigued with the pigeon as I was, but for different reasons, of course. So, this is where I came in.

I was to pick up the bird after I got off work on Friday and foster him until I could find him a home. Several times throughout that day, I thought of him. Where would I keep him? What should I feed him? How would he fare without another pigeon buddy? I said a prayer that God would direct my steps and take care of His little bird. I have never doubted that God is concerned about everything that concerns me. My love cost Him everything. Of course, he cares for a creature that He made and that I loved!

After some fanfair, fluttering and flapping, we got the pigeon into his little cage, and I began to proudly walk with my prize to the car. As I approached the car door, I heard a soft flutter of wings and immediately felt a gentle breeze behind my head. Before I knew it, I saw my pigeon soaring up, up, up above my head. We were all speechless. What in the world? We watched as he flew higher. We watched as he began making one circle after another high above our heads. He was getting his bearings. He was finding his way home. It was beautiful. The pigeon had found an opening in the cage and with perfect timing he made his getaway. The days he has spent confined in his cage provided the necessary healing he needed to again take to flight. It was truly beautiful. I could hear God speak deep in my heart as I watched this bird going home.

Proverbs 13:12 says, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life." We've all had seasons like this where we've had a promise delayed, a victory postponed, an answer detained. We've all wondered, "How much longer?", and it's hard!! I've heard it said that, it's the dressing room of life that is the hardest spot. This is where we wait patiently until our moment arrives. It is frustrating, aggravating and sometimes feels hopeless; but the dressing room is vital. This is where the crucial preparation takes place. This is where God generates in us the skills necessary to conquer our Goliath.

I've had those moments lately. I've had questions that need answers and hopes that are deferred. I've been trying learn patience in my time in the nest. I have been learning to gain strength--to rest--to not push too hard (which is against my nature...I'm a "do it now" kinda girl). God is teaching me to wait. While Martha was serving and frantically running to care for people. Mary was sitting at Jesus' feet taking it all in. You know the story. Martha was angry at carrying the load all by herself, and Jesus reminded Martha that the load was NEVER hers to carry. There is only "one thing that is needful" and Mary had chosen that (Luke 10:42). The ONE needful thing is to sit at His feet...to rest in His presence. Everything else in comparsion to this is superfluous, and it will line up and come to pass when we put Him first (Matthew 6: 33).

So, as I watched my pigeon soaring high above me and finding his way home, I couldn't help but silently cheer him on. I silently smiled as I thought of his pigeon family who would soon see him and for his owner who would regain a pet; but I also smiled for me and for others I know who like that pigeon are in the waiting room---the nest---a cage. I cheered for us as we, too, will find our way "home" to our moment to our realized hope. In the meantime, there is only ONE thing that is needful. It is the "good part". I'm enjoying sitting as His feet! Isn't He lovely!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNwS4cGc2Wk 

I'll Take Prepositions for $1000, Alex

I love those moments in life when you find peace and resolution to old hurts. It's those moments when you get to give a hug to the little girl or little boy inside of you and say, "See, you turned okay, afterall." Today, was one of those days for me.

As a 7th grader at a particular junior high, I was awkward, painfully shy, an introvert and one academically gifted "nerd" who was capable of feeling an unusual amount of empathy. I didn't feel like I belonged anywhere, though I desperately wanted to belong somewhere. You know those kids. They are the ones who make blankets for homeless people by saving all their babysitting money, but none of their peers really know them since these kids find it excruciatingly painful to start a conversation with someone. These kids sound great to adults. They are so polite, people-pleasing, quiet, but often they have a hard time trudging through adolescence with their peers. They want to be the cheerleader, but clumsiness gets the better of them. They want to be the drama star, but their voice is too soft to project. They want to be the jovial class clown sometimes, but it's not in their DNA. Their introverted nature begs them to do all they can to avoid centerstage...heck, to even avoid the whole theater if they can.

This introverted nature can pose a problem in the classroom sometimes, too. As an educator, I try to be very aware of these students and to provide them what they need. I did not have this type of educator in my 7th grade language arts class. She was rigid, exclusive and ultimately concerned that she was wearing the latest fashion. I was not her favorite. I knew this. My parents weren't doctors, and I couldn't care less that she drove a white Mercedes-Benz with lots of chrome adornment. I loved my dad's Volkswagen Bug! It was the best! It screamed fun, laughter and kindess. Her car screamed, "Don't touch me. I'm better than you." I remember that Benz because she took great pangs to tell us not to scratch her key hole when we unlocked her door if ever we fetched "stuff" she had left in it. I hated that car. I would say unkind things in my head everytime she gave the "keyhole" speech to a student, and I wondered why she just didn't go get the stuff herself if it was important not to scratch that keyhole.

I recall on one occasion she polled the class to see which former elementary schools had sent us to her. I was from Warlick. It was a sweet little elementary school with a family-like nature (interesting that it is now an alternative school). I was loved and cherished, and for the first time this shy little girl felt valuable at school, and it began there at Warlick. I LOVED Warlick! My teacher did not love Warlick. Warlick was not the affluent school in my junior high school's feeder, so my teacher was not impressed. She would often voice her beliefs, "Oh, I see. That makes sense now. You came from so and so"...or "You came from Warlick".

A day that will forever be etched in my memory was prepostional phrase day. This day was a turning point for me forever. I was having a day where I was quite unfocused.  I was overthinking everything as introverts often do. We notice what others do not notice in a room, and my empathetic, intuitive nature allows me to feel what others miss. So, I was thinking, overthinking, rethinking, postulating and not focused on finding the prepositions and prepositional phrases that we were discussing in our assigned rote and practice text. I was academically gifted and this was SO boring to me! Finally, while I was solving world peace on Mars, my teacher called on me to respond. I hadn't even heard the question. I had NO clue what the answer was. I asked her would she repeat the question. She promptly let me know she would not. I should have been paying attention Nevertheless, I was still required to answer this elusive question. She waited for what felt like hours. All eyes were on me. I began calling out words, phrases, sentences, pulling needles out of haystacks and sending up S.O.S. signals like mad. Each attempt was met with a negative response and great displeasure. The class waited on me. There was no direction from her, and I clearly would have answered correctly had I known the question. My gifted area is language arts. Minutes passed in this humiliating predicament. My brain was scrambling. My heart was pounding. My cheeks were scarlet. My eyes kept meeting hers begging for help. None was to be found. Finally, there was a defining moment for me. This people-pleasing, obedient, rule-following young lady snapped. I decided I could wait and stare at her as long as she could wait. I decided I would try no more. I wasn't going to call out any more words for her little charade. She could help me or we could play a game of standoff. I didn't care, and I inteneded to win. We waited. She asked for a response. I stared. She told me to look at my text. I stared. She prompted. I stared. Finally, she asked the question that I missed. I stared.  I was done, and ultimately I won. The sad thing is I lost the battle for learning something new. I missed an educational opportunity though I won the battle of wits.

I learned so much that day that I carry with me now. I learned that I will never humiliate a child like that in my care. I will endeavor to do all I can to make each child feel valuable. I will repeat a question if needed. I will help each child feel a part of the community. Most importantly, I will NEVER give the keyhole speech (never have and I have had more than a few students "fetch" things for me).

Today, as I got to teach in that same school where I had been a student myself. The classroom where I was teaching and all the rest in that building looked vastly different from my former experience as a student there. I was grateful. There was laughter, learning, kindess, engagement. I took a few moments to pass the room where I had spent hours with this teacher many years ago. The same room where I stared at the clock on the last day of school and said a sincere pray of thanks that God had helped me survive that year. I paused and stared at lockers near this old room. I looked at the new name plate over the door; and I smiled. I hugged the little Lisa inside of me, and said, "The answer is: 'to the store', Mrs. So and So. There is your prepositional phrase, and thank you for making me a better educator. Thank you for teaching me one of the greatest lessons in my career. Because of you, my children wanted to learn in my class, today. They thanked me. They smiled. I smiled, too. I am sorry you missed what a joy it is to smile with your students, but I am thankful that you showed me what not to do. So, there ya have it, Mrs. So and so...'to the store' is the answer.

It Only Takes a Spark

It has been said, "It only takes a spark to get a fire going." This is true! Sometimes big, wonderful things come from a little ol' spark. This spark began as an assistant princiapl encouraged one of his teachers to take a blog challenge. She, in turn, encouraged someone else pretty special, and that sweet person encouraged me. I am hoping that I will spark a few more to join this very fulfilling journey.

I am a blogger, persay. I have always journaled and have recently began putting some of those 'journals" into blog form. This is a new journey for me. Until recent years, I haven't been the easiest person to get to know. I have always been a bit on the shy side and have chosen to remain in the background. I have also been very private. Life experiences, a newfound comfortableness in my own skin and some self reflection have made for a change--a change that I really like. So, I am only TOO happy to take this blog challenge and am very grateful to Tammy Mims for inviting me!


The first requirement is to Share 11 random facts about yourself:
Hmmmm! Let's see! What random facts will make the top 11???

1. I am a twin and find my self doing things in "two's" somehow. I have lived in the same house twice (one that we did not own). I have worked at WCF twice and at TSS twice. My address is 1212 (two number 2's), and  I was born on December 2. I'm not superstitious, but I think this is really fascinating. I could go on and on, but I will continue.
2. I love every living creature imaginable. I would invite them all to live with me, and think Noah had the most awesome job ever!! How great to get all the animals in the world to move in with you!! (My hubby would vehementrly disagree).
3. Some of my sweetest memories as a child were having tea parties with my sister while my brother was trying to throw worms on us...Boys! Can't live with 'em. Can't live without them!
4. One of the sweetest dates I had with Jamie was when he took me to spend a day in Asheville. We toured where he lived in college, and he took me to the zoo. Animals are not his favorite thing, but he knows they are mine. At the end of the date, he even gave me the cutest stuffed pig. I preferred that to flowers or candy...and even jewelry. Truly! I still have the pig.
5. I still think Elvis Pressley is gorgeous!! Yep! I love his mischievious grin and his big blue eyes...I love his music and can be found listening to the Carpenters, Captain and Tennielle, Anne Murray, etc. I'm a music geek.
6. I have a secrect obsession with elephants and hummingbirds. I collect items representing both of them.
7. This may not be random. Most people know this about me. I LOVE bubble baths. They are the greatest way to change my mood and make me smile.
8. One of the sweetest, simplest joys of my day is when my Japanese Chin leans into my face and presses her nose against mine and just holds it there while her beautiful bug eyes look at mine. It's kinda like she is saying, "Hello, Mommy...here's a kiss." I love it. She makes my heart smile.
9. Two of my sweetest memories of my children: When Tyler was only a few weeks old and he awoke hungry, I was SO tired, but when I had finished feeding him, I swear he smiled so sweetly at me as the moonlight shone through the window. I pledged I would never sleep again if he preferred that. The other is the moment Meleah was born. Her labor so simple, and she was so easily contented. She snuggled in my arms and just loved being near me. I could feel her breathe and hear her coo. I truly believed I was holding a blue-eyed angel!
10. I like people's hands. I think you can tell a lot about a person by looking at his/her hands.
11. Carter Louis Montgomery and Mari Elizabeth McCosh have been two of the most wonderful gifts to me. I didn't know that my life was incomplete without them. I was blessed to introduce Mari to her mommy, my sweet sister (How many people can say that??). I was equally blessed to look into the eyes of the sweetest boy I have ever met (sorry Tyler) and tell him I was his Nana Lisa (He calls me Nina...my favorite name!)

Answers to Tammy's Questions:
1. What are three words that describe you best? kind, giving, sensitive (This is me http://www.personalitypage.com/ENFJ.html )

2. If you were granted one wish, what would your wish be and why? I would wish to eat whatever I wanted and always remain slim!! LOL! I believe that is most girls' wish. :)

3. Your TV will only play one show. What show is it and why this show? I don't really get a lot of time to watch TV. I am SUPER ignorant about what is even on TV right now. I do enjoy starting my day listeing to a few ministers: Pastor Prince, Jentezen Franklin, James Robison. I have also enjoyed listening to recordings of Christine Caine. This starts my day with the rememberance to love God and love people. It also reminds me to look for moments in which to be thankful.

4. What is your favorite movie of all time? Wow! I like everything from the "Beauty and the Beast" cartoon to "Gone with the Wind"; however, my favorite pop culture movie is "The Wedding Planner" (or almost anything with Matthew Mcconaughey--nuff said). Favorite quote from the movie referring to M&M's:

Steve: "Why are you only eating the brown ones?"

Mary: "Because someone once said that they had less artificial coloring because chocolate's already brown. And it kind of stayed with me."

Steve: "You kind of stayed with me."

Ahhhhh!!! Be still my heart

5. If you could go back in time, what "time" would you go to and why? Umm...I really like medical advancements of the 21st Century and the advancements in Civil Rights as well as the improvements in Women's Rights (although we still have a ways to do), but if I did go back, I like the late 19th Century. I love the whole Little House on the Prairie, one room school house idea.
6. What do you plan to do when you retire? When I retire (which is 1000 years away), I want to volunteer in nursing homes, orphanges, animal hospitals, etc. I want to give the love that is my heart to those who may need it. There is nothing that brings me more joy than this.
7. Do you have a personal philosophy? If so what? My philosophy is simple. Love God with all your heart, your soul, your mind and your strength and love your neighbor (which is everyone else) as yourself. Do good to those that curse you. Show mercy to those that abuse you, and know that you don't have to do this within your strength. The more you rely on God to do these things for you and through you, the more it will happen. Less of me...more of Him.
8. What is your "safe place"? My safe place is in my bath tub listening to my favorite music and watching the candles flicker around the dim room. Everything makes perfect sense in that moment!
9. You have an empty refrigerator and an empty pantry. You have $10. What do you do? I do what any self respecting Southerner would do. I buy some grits and pecan pie! Grits are the soul food to get you through this tough situation. Pecan pie makes ya not care how bad it is!!
10. What is the last thing you do before you go to sleep at night? The last thing I do each night is thank the Lord for my day and for His gracious provision. I pray for peace, protection, and prosperity for my family, my friends, my coworkers and their families, and I pray for any others that God brings to my remembrance.
11.What is your favorite app/technology? Why? Well...as an instructional technology facilitator, I feel pressure to say something bedazzling; however, I in my new found confidence (LOL!), I will leave that to the ITF boys. Quite honestly, my favorite piece of technology is my Smart phone. I can take beautiful pictures, find a yummy recipe, buy a new pair of socks, Facetime my family in Michigan, send a text message to my child, pull up a Google document, play a game of Candy Crush, watch a movie on Netflix, email my colleagues and even make phone call on that little trusty devise. It's pretty cool where we have advanced in the last 20 years! I remember the days of frantically trying to find a pay phone to let my dad know I would be a little behind curfew (kinda glad we didn't have Facetime in those days...LOL!) So, yes, the phone is my my "favoritest" pick.

I am challenging:
1. Traci McCosh
2. Amy Crocker
3. Aundrea Jenkins
4. Debby Ray
5. Chrissie Lunsford
6. Sandra Engbarth
7. Teresa Thomassen
8. Elizabeth Spencer
9. Lynn Harstin
10. Chris Goodson
11. Becky Duncan

My Questions:
1. What is your favorite and least favorite words? Why?
2.What is the habit you are most proud of breaking and why? Or what habit would you like to break?
3. Describe something that happend to you for which you had no explanation?
4. What is the longest you have gone without sleep? Why?
5. What is the most memorable class you have taken? Describe it.
6. What is the most terrifying moment of you life so far?
7. If you could spend the day with anyone (living or dead) who would it be?
8. Do you believe honesty is the best policy? Why or why not?
9. Which cartoon character do you resemble the most?
10. If you could have personally witnessed anything, what would you want to have seen?
11. How do you start a conversation with someone you don't know but want to know?

The Guidelines of Your Challenge:
1.  Acknowledge the nominating blogger.
2.  Share 11 random facts about yourself.
3.  Answer the 11 questions the nominating blogger has created for you.
4.  List 11 bloggers, excluding the blogger who nominated you.
5.  Post 11 questions for the bloggers you have listed to answer.
6.  Let the bloggers know you have nominated them.
7.  Post back here in the comment section a link to your post.

Who Says You Can't Go Home Again?

Thomas Wolfe said, "You can't go home again"...hmmm! Really? I've been pondering this a lot lately as I have returned for my second term as an instructional technology facilitator. I am now in my second year of my second time back, but it's my fifth year total. I finally feel that I am "home" in a sense. I adore my co-workers and get a lot of fulfillment from working with my assigned staff and students. Today, was one of those days when I feel I made the difference for a media specialist, and I loved it when a student called me by name as I walked down the hall. I had to take a double-take to recall how this student even knew me. It finally came to me, "OH yeah!! I taught his class how to use Google Gmail, last week! Yay! He remembered my name" (Happy dance on the side... I guess we never get too old or too sophisticated to appreciate being called by name)!!

Returning "home" is an amazing thing! Sometimes, I wonder why I left. Sometimes I am afraid I'll have to leave again. Today, was both of these extremes for me. There was excitement about lessons to be co-taught this week, anticipation over celebrating an upcoming birthday party with my coworker family, and pride in overcoming a professional milestone (My ITF certification should be in the mail any day). Then, there was the moment where we were asked to share something we learned at a conference. This is a dreaded moment for the "Old Lisa" who would rather be behind-the-scenes. That same tightening in my stomache and second-guessing what to prepare was there. "What 'most exciting' tool, gadget, trinket, THING can I share?" Ugghh!! I was in that same old downward spiral, tailspin...but only for a moment. This time coming home is different. This time, I know who I am and finally see clearly what I missed before.

As I sat trying to think about what "thing" to share that would change humanity forever (LOL!), I realized that this was the wrong question. The question is, "What made me most passionate at my conference? What will make me want to change my teaching practices to be a better educator? What might make someone else want to change to make the difference for a student?" Then, I knew. I had my answer. It wasn't going to be a thing afterall. It was going to be a belief...a pedagogy. I knew what to share. Some people get excited about things, gadgets, who-dads. They are the people like my twin brother who take everything apart to see what makes it tick. They are quite fascinating people, and I am in such awe of them. On this trip "home", however, I realize that it is okay to be the person who puts things back together to see how beautiful they look as a whole. Not all of us have to be the explorer-scientists. Some of us can be the healer-doctors.

Before as an ITF, I was focused on learning new tools and finding new apps, discovering new programs; and I was very bored and unfulfilled. This was not my passion. My passion is finding out what makes a person tick, what his/her favorite moments are, what makes him/her want to get up in the morning, what is the last thing he/she thinks of at night, what life luxury could that person not live without (for me that is bubble baths, bubble gum and beautiful music), what hurt has this person survived that has made him/her stronger? I was asking the wrong questions before. I was focused on the things not the people for whom the things were made. I couldn't sale "things". I couldn't peddle that as hard as I tried. I didn't care about that. So, I thought I had to leave "home" to find people who thought the same way as me. The irony is...the people back "home" were those people who thought like me. We often leave "home" in search of "something". The amazing thing is that we usually find ourselves rather than the something else for which we are looking. We also usually discover that everything we really loved was back "home" all along.

Tonight, I am very happy to be back "home", and I am even more happy to be home as the Lisa I love and even sometimes like...the Lisa who prefers people to apps, listening to talking and behind-the-scenes to out-front-for-the world to-see! Much love to my "family" who patiently let me take this journey and then welcomed me back home when it was time! Thank you for making me passionate about the technology we use as a vehicle to love the people that I am passionate about serving.

“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” 
― Mahatma Gandhi

Refusing to be Pigeonholed, Pegged, or Pinned

This time tomorrow I will have been the proud mother of the most wonderful fella in the world for two decades! The time has certainly flown. He is such an amazing young man. He is complex and complicated with a very tender heart. I will never forget the first moment I held him in my arms, how he smelled, how felt and how my heart expanded to feel a depth of love I have never known. From the moment his blinking, little eyes grasped mine, I was forever in love!

When I try to categorize him or describe him, this is difficult. I often say to others who inquire about him, "He is just so amazing, you have to meet him. He is very independent and unique."(Some would even say he is "Fearfully and Wonderfully made). Both of my children are unique paradoxes and quite strong-willed in their own right.

From the day of his birth, Tyler has been defying our predictions and refusing to allow us to pigeonhole or peg him. I recall thinking I was in labor--though it was two weeks early--and making a 2:00 p.m. visit to my doctor. He assured me that it would be several more days. WRONG! It was only several more hours. After disappointedly going home to wait for a few more days, Tyler decided to make his arrival only 6 hours later at 8:35 p.m. We were hardly at the hospital long enough to settle in, until we were holding a 6lb 3oz, 19 in long beautiful boy! This was only the first surprise of the evening, because we were told that Tyler would be a girl! WRONG! The ultrasounds twenty years ago were really good, but not a accurate as those of today, and Tyler (true to form) never gave us a great view as to his gender. So, my doctor's best prediction was a girl. We scrambled to change the "Cabbage Patch Doll" themed nursery to a circus theme ASAP. (The circus theme seemed appropriate since Tyler was quite the clown. Grandma Susan and Paw Paw Ronnie's first gift to him was a porcelain clown doll.)

Through the years, Tyler has continued to be his own person. He has always been so independent and has never allowed others to choose his path for him. This fact has been the source of my greatest joy and my greatest frustration at times. Watching him as he won the countywide silver medal for wrestling in middle school and the tenacity he displayed always astounded me. He was only pinned once by someone he had pinned earlier. What a determination!

So, this is my boy! He won't be be pigeonholed, pegged or pinned. He continues to surprise us and to forge his own path. I am thankful that this path is forged with God. I am also thankful that the tenacity and firm grip that he has on his own course is the same one he has in his faith. For certainly, there is no love I want more for Tyler than for him to be in love with The King of Kings.  Happy birthday my precious, Tyler! When did you grow so fast?

Hebrews 22-25 So let’s do it—full of belief, confident that we’re presentable inside and out. Let’s keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. He always keeps his word. Let’s see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out, not avoiding worshiping together as some do but spurring each other on, especially as we see the big Day approaching.