What Goes Down Must Come Up

Sometimes in life we find that in order to go higher, we must go lower. This is strange, but true. Sometimes we have to lose in order to ultimately win. Like the seasoned eagle whose wings become burdened down with aged feathers that can no longer carry him to the heights of his youth, we must beat off the old. We must spend time in hiding as we heal, and we must allow ourselves to renew.

When I arrived in New York for the first time ever, I was faced with this realization in an amazing way. The hotel employees at Buffalo were welcoming, charming and accomodating. The employees at our Rochester hotel left much to be desired. As we arrived at the hotel seeking valet service, we soon found that there was none to be had. We were immediately greeted with a parking deck that was a hot mess. This was only preceeded by a vagabond who aggressively persisted for monetary gifts. Upon finding our way through the maze of ply wood, concrete slabs and crime tape we found a very tight parking space. Relieved to be parked, we walked toward an entrace of the hotel. This was when we realized that there was no elevator and we must drag our 200 lbs of luggage down two flights of stairs. Once we made our way inside of the hotel, it was realized that we must go up a flight of stairs with our belongings only to go down an escalator to check in and finally to go up an eleavator to our room. Up, down, up down...isn't that like life though?! Sometimes we go up, but ups are always followed by downs. To go up, we must go down.

On my last night in Rochester, my colleague, Chrissie and I were determined to have a bit of fun. We had worked hard for three days and wanted to end our trip with one last, sweet memory. As part of our job, we were recruiting new teachers to come to NC. They were precious! They were inspiring, and the vast commonality among the female candidates was that they wore Alex and Ani bracelets. Chrissie decided we needed one too! We began our adventure which involved obtaining one of these. We had directions from an interviewee and high hopes of securing one soon. With a pit stop at Nick Tahou's for a first time garbage plate experience for me, we had planned to grab something else for Chrissie. We detoured by Wegmens to "ooohhh" and "ahhhh" at this impressive grocery store, and we began to search for Chrissie some sustenance. We soon forgot the main goal of our mission--the elusive bracelet.

When Chrissie recalled our goal,we realized that we were lost; however, we soon found an Alex and Ani's on Culver Street at the Armory. I was excited! This part of Rochester was beautiful, warm, friendly, crisp and inviting. Upon leaving NC, my mom gave me some money that she asked me to use to buy myself something special. She and my father had planned to travel when she retired, and New York was on their bucket list. This was not to come to fruition due to my dad's failing health. Mom said, "Lisa, your dad and I would want you to buy yourself something special from us. I wish we had been able to go to NY together, but we are happy that you are. Have fun, and get something to remember your trip." I honestly was only 50% committed to this. I wasn't sure if I could own something that reminded me of what my dad could never do...would never be able to do, but nonetheless the moment had come.

It was surreal. When Chrissie and I entered Alex and Ani's I was amazed at how beautiful the jewelry was. I was also a little saddened as I remembered Dad. It was at that moment that we were greeted with the most precious and very young sales ladies. They said, "Ladies, are you here for our event?" I replied that we had just come to purchase a bracelet, but that we were curious about the event. She begain to explain that the event was to raise funds for literacy as a memorial for a deceased, prominent, local educator. She showed me the table where they had punch and treats and decorations of such books as The Hungry Caterpillar. She bragged and gleamed at her decorating efforts that honored children's literature. She said "...and by the way, Ladies, twenty percent of your purchase tonight goes toward this cause for promoting literacy in our area."

What? Was this real? What were the chances that we would actually be here? What were the chances we'd find  this store on this night...or what were the chances we would even want to find it after getting lost? What were the chances that on the one day at the one moment when Alex and Ani were honoring teachers, education and literacy that we would be there? I began to cry. I wasn't sad. They were tears of happiness. They were tears of gratefulness. I was overwhelmed by the perfection of the moment. Two of the three young ladies attending to us were prospective teachers and they loved sharing with us about education, and they loved bouncing ideas off of us.The charms they showed me were exactly what I would have chosen: Ladybug (my nickname which means happiness and affection), anchor (which means hope, tranquility, stability), hummingbird (which means awakening, healing, eternity) and an apple (which means insight, wisdom, teacher). I cried tears even as my efforts to hold them back were unsuccessful. How perfect! This would have been just how my dad would have done it. "Surprise! Lisa, it's a party! You don't need to be sad that I'm not here, Ladybug! You need to be excited. I am always proud of you my teacher girl! I am always proud of you, and you're going to make it. Daddy, loves you!" Not only did he invest in me, but he invested in my profession. He invested 20% in literacy which is my passion! That is my dad, and that is my mom!

Working to bite back tears as I stared out at the gorgeous park in front of me, I realized that Chrissie still needed to eat, and I wasn't sure what we would do. It was in that moment that one of the sweet girls who was checking me out said out of the blue, "Have you tried, Trata, next door?" I said, "No. Is it a bakery?" (I had seen a bakery beside it). She said, "No, there is a bakery near it, but Trata is a great restaurant that serves burgers, sweet potato fries and other great food!" Wow! Even that detail was taken care of! We had found food for Chrissie, and the atmosphere in that place was awesome! As we ate, laughed and reflected on the irony of it all, I just kept thinking: "Some people live a lifetime for a moment like this". It came to mind as I basked in the way things had perfectly aligned, that this was one of those moments you don't forget. Getting lost was an awesome happenstance that led to being found.

Life is amazing. It is perplexing and beautiful. Its complexities that are paralleled by its simplicities create a beautiful canvas! Sometimes we must go down in order to go up. Sometimes we must be lost in order to be found. Sometimes we must lose in order to win. Sometimes we must relinquish control in order to stand our ground. Sometimes we must give the very thing we wish to receive...and sometimes...just sometimes we must do nothing but simply enjoy the perfection that was gifted to us for no reason at all...except that we are loved!

Picture of the Literacy Event Complete with Children's Book Captions over the Food

Save Image As...

Dear Image,

So, it is almost your birthday my crazy Image girl! You will be eleven on January 11, 2015...your Golden Birthday (11 on the 11th). We have had quite a few Golden birthdays in the last 6 months--both of my children and now you, my fur-baby.

Most know your story: "The Two Year old (almost 3) Show Dog that I 'saved'". I have owned many dogs and loved them all. With most of them it was easy: purebred, mutts, whatchamacallits, lap dogs...Loving dogs has come easy for me. You, however, my girl have been a challenge. Finally in your 3rd and your forever home, I have loved you more than the others who owned you and have loved you longest. I also know you love me more than anything in the world, though how you convey it is most unique. You're not even able to bear being in a separate room from me without your loud (quite annoying, I might add) crying. We've been together for 8 1/2 years. I've been committed to you and cared for you with all I am, though it has been an act of will and choice and not an easy act of my heart some days as it is with my other dogs. Your intelligent nature requires that I frequently prove that I am the alpha. You make me earn your respect in a way that is often irritating, though, I do choose to love you. I recall the quote from Lady Guinevere to King Arthur in "The First Knight" when she says "Love has many faces. I may look on you differently, but not with less love." She goes on to say that King Arthur is loved by an act of her will which is stronger than her heart. Being a person who feels things deeply--a heart person--but also a strong-willed person, I loved and hated this quote all at once. I understand it better now in having loved you, Image, for almost a decade.

Loving Windsor, Tiffany, Meechie, Jamie, Butch, Cookie, Princess, Sugar, Tiger, Star, etc., etc., was simple. They stole my heart again and again. They wanted to please me. They quickly obeyed, but then again they were not Show Dogs and maybe not quite as acute as you. You , my girl, are willful and constantly make me to you prove that you will do what I say. Yet, there are moments that I do so enjoy you--like when you snuggle next to me or prance around like a deer in such a jovial manner. These moment do capture my heart. I love how you will lay in a big orange and white roan ball at the foot of the tub until I am done or in the floor by my bed when I nap. I love how you press your forehead against my shoulder when you want a hug, and I love how you bare your teeth when I ask you to smile.

When your previous owners bought you because they thought they could make you, mold you into a show dog--a prize--- little did they know the job that was cut out for them. Oh yes, even now I gaze upon your many ribbons and certificates where you won show after show, but it came at a higher price than some of their other dogs required. This I do know, because I know you...and I know them! 

Traveling all the way from Kalamazoo, Michigan to Dallas, North Carolina, I will never forget the first time I saw you. I first met a member of your pack--a Blue Roan English Cocker Spaniel. I saw him in Lowe's Hardware and thought he was majestic enough to inquire about him from his trainer. One thing after another and I met you...the Orange and White Roan. I wanted the blue, but then I saw your sweet, sad face. I didn't feel they loved you or were as proud of you as they should be...so I bought you (Yes! BOUGHT you...at a hefty price, too), and I brought you home to love you. And yes! You have made me prove it over and over again; but Image, I am most proud of my love for you. I am most proud that we stuck it out, and that I didn't quit on you like the others. I know you have been most happy in my home.

Your life expectancy is 11-12 years, though I think you could make it to fifteen. I never thought I would lose my precious Windsor before you, my tough ol' girl. Yet, here you are as willlful as ever. As I was about to save a picture of you for this blog, I received the message "Save Image as..." I laughed. Oh, how sometimes I would like to save you as something else! But then, I would have missed the life lessons I have learned from you...for you are often like me. You are willful when you should listen. You think you know more than me, but you don't. You want your way, when mine is best for you. I think I"ll "save" Image again and again if need be...and I'll think I'll save her as the Image she is! I do love you Image Ol' Girl!

Happy Almost Birthday My Orange Roan Lassie!

There's Been a Change of Plans

There's Been a Change of Plans...This was the title of yesterday's message. Every word and every moment spoke to my heart on so many levels. Pastor Furtick said, "And there's someone out there who has buried a dream. You've stopped believing "it" is possible, but I'm here to tell you, ALL things are possible through Him!" Something just exploded in the deepest part of who I am. That was me!

For someone who is a conclusive planner, this has been a bit challenging. Just the words, "There's been a change of plans" makes my stomache hurt. Yet, plans do change. Pastor Furtick said, that God always has plan, but He frequently doesn't share His plan with us because we would mess it up or worse yet trust the "plan" more than the God who made it.

The past four years have been a roller coaster of changed plans. James and I had planned to adopt a third child. Plans changed. My daughter became my niece. My heart still doesn't understand, but plans change. Sometimes it takes awhile for your heart to catch up with this. Mine still hasn't, even though my mind has long since made the leap. She is a beautiful five year old who often comments on how much her Uncle Jamie loves her. Her indeed was the first to rescue her.

We planned for Tyler to go away to college. This was his dream too. Yet weeks from graduation we began dealing with horrifying seizures. All is well now, and his doctors are amazed at how strong he is (He really is...It's doggone amazing! And what I attribute to a merciful God). Then before we could come up for air, we found out he was to be a father. I discovered this on a Saturday night. I was the last to know. Tyler loves his mama so much and was afraid of breaking my heart. It didn't break my heart, but it did fracture my will a bit. The next day, I couldn't even get out of bed. My family left for church. I went for a ride across a beautiful bridge in High Shoals. What I saw, much to my astonishment, was a white dove perched on the ledge of the bridge. I took a picture of it, and heard God say, "Lisa, peace be still. I will take care of this. You can't control one part of it. You're going to have to trust me."

Trusting Him has been my life's constant, and He has NEVER failed me. Plans change. As I sit on the floor beside my bed at this 3:00 a.m. hour wrapped in my favorite blue bathrobe and listening to Carter breathe in the bed above me, I am so thankful for changed plans. Hearing him call, "Nina, Nina" in the middle of the night as he wraps his tiny arms around my neck is the sweetest feeling in the world. At that moment I am shocked at love that spills from my heart. There is so much love that my heart can't contain it! It often flows from my cheeks! Plans change.

I had not planned for my Daddy to not be here this Christmas. I had not planned for it to hurt so much. It angers me that I my heart won't catch up with my brain on this one. It infuriates me that I can't seem to control the hurt that seems to sneak up on me at unexpected moments. I miss the sound of his voice. I miss his numerous calls throughout the day just to say he loves me. I miss his strong hands holding mine. I miss him letting me cry into his shoulder even as a forty-something year old woman and how he could always fix his little girl. I miss hearing him sing. I miss how infectious his laughter was...and how corny his jokes were. I miss how he was never pressed or stressed and how that caused me to relax. Plans change. Life moves forward.

"Dreams can still be had. Dreams can still come to fruition." I heard Pastor say this yesterday. Plans change, but if they didn't we would miss out on some wonderful things. Yes. When plans change things can be inconvenient, messy and painful, but they often give birth to such wonderful things as the baby Jesus. Plans changed for Mary. She wasn't finished completing her wedding registry when the angel appeared and said, "Surprise! Change of plans! You'll also need a baby registry!" Bless! How frightening! How inconvenient! How out of control! Yet how wonderful the eternal effects!

I love Jeremiah 29:11! God knows the plans He has for us...even when they change. He knows THE PLAN. We know THE PROMISE and it is SO good! It is for a future and a hope...it is for realized dreams! With that said, I think I can actually and tangibly dream now. So with that I will head back to bed beside my sweet little boy and say Good Nite!

Jeremiah 29:11The Message (MSG) 10-11 This is God’s Word on the subject: “As soon as Babylon’s seventy years are up and not a day before, I’ll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.

Hi Handsome!! Oh you have stolen my heart, my sweet prince!

I absolutely without reservation fell head over heels in love at this moment! I love this picture for this reason! I wiped tears and tried to clear my face before this pic was taken...my heart was glowing!

My sweet daddy! His poor bruised hands! Love those hands!

Tyler's graduation...who knew...Buckle up! Life, here we come!

I could eat him!!! OOOUUU!! Yummy!

My happy, happy boy!!

Another sweet change of plans! He has Angelman's Syndrome. I LOVE him! Hugs Jim!

My beautiful niece only days after we brought her home!

Saigon, Salons, Salsa and Sincere Smiles

I stepped out of my car and said, "Lord, I don't want to talk to anyone or be talked to by anyone. I just want to get my nails done as quickly as possible and leave, and please let Anna be in a quiet, mood today. Actually, Lord, it would be great if no one even looked at me." Anna is a beautiful, sanguine, perky, petite, sixty-something nail technician from Saigon. She loves to talk, and I usually accommodate even though I would prefer to sit quietly as she performs her magic on my nails.  I was expecting a sympathetic reply from my Father of "Okay Lisa. It's been tough on you, lately. We'll handle this." No such luck. Instead, He reminded me, "Lisa, this is not your show. You enlisted in a different army a long time ago, and I'm going to need you at your post." Great! Just great! God is kind of like that. He never lets us give less than our best.

As I entered the salon, I quickly realized I was the only customer. Again...just great! Anna's husband stepped inside from the back door. He was wearing a brown corduroy jacket--slightly too big for him. His slightly too long salt and pepper colored hair extended from his black toboggan and his tender eyes peered over his glasses that rested on the bridge of his nose. He is a quiet soul, but his sweet face says much. He nodded to me and shuffled toward Anna to hand her the items she would need to help me.

Anna began chattering immediately. I often don't understand much of what she says, so it is with great effort that I have to try and listen. This is quite a task for an ADHD girl who also noticed that they were playing a movie starring Tom Selleck on their very visible T.V. Yes, this would be an extra challenge tonight. 

Anna began questioning why she hadn't seen me in so long. She began fussing over my very cropped nails. She began inquiring about my holiday plans. Ugghhh! I didn't have the stamina for small talk, so I just told her the truth. I said this would be the first year without my dad, and I missed him a lot. At that, my chatty, motherly friend stopped. She was sitting at my feet. She said, "Lisa, I know. I share with you. I understand." She began to tell me how she had lost her son when he was only thirty years old. She explained that he died in Saigon, but that she couldn't afford to go home and pay her last respects. She explained that her mother had been furious with her for this lack of respect and honor toward the son. She also explained that her mother had died only a few weeks following her son. As she talked I saw her cute, tiny nose turn pink and her beautiful almond shaped eyes fill with tears. As she talked she stroked my feet and gently rubbed my legs. A tear or two rolled down my face as I felt her pain. I had never known that Anna had experienced such grief. She is such a happy soul. She smiles with all she is, and this makes her so beautiful to me. This makes her seem so young to me.

I understood in that moment that the gift of my time to Anna was also God's gift of healing to me. As the time passed, Anna true to form chatted away and enjoyed being able to converse with an "active listener" (even if the listener sometimes had to fake it). Anna always shares some "American" favorite recipe with me each time I am there. I don't know why, and she never shares Asia ones--when I am there. I often wish she would share authentic Asian recipes. Maybe she thinks I would like the others better. Today, she wanted to tell me how to make a simple salsa. "Lisa, this easy...you try....you work hard...you clean house...you care for family...this recipe easy...You family like". I smiled. My heart swelled with love for this little woman. As I opened up and allowed her to share, I discovered that she also speaks French! Who knew?! She learned it in school as a little girl. She spoke French to me as she worked. It was beautiful. Her accent was amazing! I understood more of her French than her English. She educated me on the difference between Spanish spoken in Spain (where I have had the pleasure to visit) and Spanish spoken in Mexico (where I have also been blessed to visit). All the while she commented on my feet. "Lisa, you wear heels again for winter! I see! Look here! You must be careful. See how much better I make it. Lisa, where you get this mark. Something bite you? Look you bruise. How? You sure you like this (nail) color? You sure? I change for you."

When it was finally time to leave, I paid; but then I said, "Anna, will you wax my eyebrows?" I usually do my own, but I could tell this would be a treat for her. She said, "Yes. I be happy to. Sit. You sit." She applied hot wax, pulled, tweezed, plucked; and at last, we were done! I said goodbye and stood to leave. As I stepped away, Anna said, "No. Lisa. You wait." She hurried to the back of the salon. I thought, "Great! She is going to get a hand-held mirror so I can inspect her work. Honestly, it's okay, Anna. I trust you." When she returned, I was wrong again. Anna held out a little box of candles. She said, "Happy birthday, Lisa, and Merry Christmas!" I was stunned. I quickly grabbed her tiny little shoulders in my arms and hugged her. Wow! Just when we think we have given so much, God reminds us that we can never out give Him! Thank you my sweet, little, beautiful Anna in your tiny, black sock feet, tonight! What a precious gift you were to me! I love my purple candles, but not nearly as much as I love you!

Sit Wiff Me, Pease!

We entered her room which was a little too warm for comfort: blinds slightly open, no television or radio to break up the deafening silence, only the hustle and bustle of hurried footsteps outside her door. Her back was to us as we entered her room, and we beheld her as she looked through the slits in her blinds. Her little, frail hands were gently folded atop a shawl as it covered her slight legs that perched on the footrests of her wheelchair. She was the picture of elegance and calm, though undeniably lonely. I had not met her yet, but I already loved her. For sake of anionimity, let's call her Ellen. She is a resident of the nursing home where my son works, and where he invests a bit of his soul each day. To say that I am proud of my son is an understatement. To see him in his element as he cares for these geriatric dear ones is one of my greatest joys.

My grandson, my niece, my mother and I had come to the nursing home to visit Tyler, my handsome boy, so that Tyler's son, Carter, could have lunch with his dad. Dressed in his pre-Halloween fireman suit Carter was excited to see his dad as always and share some fast food and Daddy-Son talk. I was excited to see the affection and tenderness exchanged between two of the loves of my life. Before the lunch date ended, Tyler decided we should meet his favorite resident, Ellen. We were eager to see this lady that he was beaming about as he talked of her.

Ellen was everything you would want in a grandmother. She declared to us that she WAS Tyler's grandma. She was not confused or experiencing dementia, she was merely letting us know she had adopted him as her own. I was grateful. I was proud. I was touched deeply. I reached to shake her hand and thank her for loving my boy. Her hands were pale, small and soft as velvet. I resisted the urge to bring them to my cheeks and experience their warm, softness on my face. She reminded me so much of my grandmother, and I immediately knew why Tyler loved her. My motley crew quickly brought an end to the silence and solitude of her room, but I could tell it was a welcomed change. My niece, Mari, sat on her bed and chattered away. My grandson, at first shy, soon warmed to her patient demeanor and gentle discourse. He looked at a senior magazine with her as if it were the best Mickey Mouse book around. My son was proud of how his son welcomed Ellen into his heart. I was honored to be an onlooker at this moment. Leaving Ellen was hard. She wanted us to stay longer, but the duties and responsibilities of life have a way of keeping us moving forward. Hugs, expressions of gratitude and a trek to the car later we were on our way home.

What a day! After taking my niece home for the evening and allowing the cousins to say tearful good-byes (not because they never see each other, but because they wanted more fun, more games, more play...sounds pretty good to me!) We had visited Lewis Farms, ridden a wagon, fed some pigs and other farm animals, zoomed down some pretty amazing slides, met old acquaintances, made new friends and were finally now ready to settle into the evening and prepare for church tomorrow. I gave Carter some milk and apple slices and put on his favorite movie, "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs". My plan was to mop (babies always equal mopping and sticky spills, I think...but it's actually kind of nice...when you have babies, you must have dogs...It's a free vacuuming service! Of course, I digress). I also had the neverending laundry pile, some cooking and various other chores and my own homework responsibilities. So, it was going to be multitasking mode for me. As the movie began, I walked away to begin my work and I heard the sweetest wee voice that can cause me to move mountains. It said, "Nina, da movie starting. Sit wiff me, Nina!" Nina, Nana Lisa, paused for a moment. I was about protest, but I remembered Ellen. I remembered her sitting in the nursing home at peace, but alone. She would love for someone to sit "wiff" her or for her to sit "wiff" someone. She would gladly forego any of life's mundane, incessant chores for a moment of fellowship. My mind went back eleven years ago, and I remembered being in the same house where Carter's father had sat in that very same spot that he sat now. Tyler was ten years old then and didn't really ask me to sit with him anymore except when we did family devotions at night. I remembered how tired I was in those days after doing homework with my children, packing lunches, preparing dinner, cleaning  up, making sure everyone was bathed and ready for the next day. I remembered relishing my alone time, which seemed to be very rare (how life has changed...and how life is still the same is humorous). Standing there looking at Carter's beautiful brown eyes I reflected on how I would love to turn back time and sit "wiff" my son and my daughter again. Both of my children are driving now and quickly preparing to leave my nest. My how time does fly! How the days quickly pass without us noticing. Only six months ago my dad was here, and now life is different. Things do change, as they say. Surely this life is but a vapor. It is here today and gone tomorrow, and at the end all that really matters is how well we have loved. 

 "Hey...Nina...Sit wiff me, pease! Wook! Da movie starting!" He pleaded again as he patted the spot beside him. He was right! This was the "Best Yes!" as I have been learning. I have said yes to a lot of the less important things lately, but tonight, I think I'll sit wiff my Carter for awhile as we save the world vicariously through animated scientists, some imaginary paint-on shoes and some Italian main dishes!! He nestled in a ball underneath my arm. I buried my nose in his blonde hair and kissed his Johnson and Johnson Baby Shampoo scented locks. The kisses were too many to count. He permitted it. He enjoyed it. My heart grew another inch, I am sure, as I relished this moment with an unexpected little gift that I was allowed to hold in my arms for this delicate moment. It was then I realized anew that we are constantly bombarded with gifts. It's up to us to notice them, to embrace them, to experience them, to choose the best "yes" of the day! 

"Learning how to be still-to really be still-and let life happen, that stillness becomes a radiance!" 

Morgan Freeman

Captain Obvious

Sitting here, tonight I am totally "chill" as the youth might say. I love the twilight. I love the sound of my fan buzzing. I love the bullfrogs singing their love songs in my back yard. I love the sound of my family shuffling around in the kitchen and the living room lamp that glows through the bedroom door like a flame. I love how my fur babies feel as they and my multiple pillows surround me while I write. This stolen moment gives me some reprieve to reflect and enjoy my passion--writing! I don't really have the time to write. I have the never ending laundry pile, dogs to bathe, emails to answer, Sunday lunch to prepare, etc., etc. Actually though, to tell the truth, I have been writing all day long in between working and life's necessities. I've read or written something for my two classes to ad nauseam, but that's not the same. When life is overwhelming, when I can't come up for air, when there is too much to do and too little resources to do it...that's when you have to write! That's when you have to push back and go on the offensive! There's no more perfect time, no better way to stake your claim, no better way to remember who you are, in my "book" (pun intended) than to let all those emotions and thoughts spill out onto an empty page---a page waiting to capture who you are.

It was early this morning that I knew I would be writing tonight. Have you ever just needed a Captain Obvious in your life? Yes, we make fun of these people sometimes at our meetings and gatherings when they state something that is self evident, something that is obvious to even the most dimly lit in the room. Yet, how many times do we miss the obvious? How many times do we miss the forest for the trees, or better yet; how many times do we miss the beauty of one individual and uniquely beautiful Dogwood for all the leaves and brush? That has been me, even though I strive hard to "see" what might be missed everyday. I sometimes fall short. I sometimes miss the obvious. Jesus reminds us of this in Mark 8:18 New International Version (NIV) "Do you have eyes but fail to see, and ears but fail to hear? And don’t you remember?" Sometimes, we have to cause ourselves to see, to hear and remember. 

There is a pair of earrings that I have which are unique and dear to me (those of you who have been in my closet and seen my accessories would laugh...because I have many such earrings---yet trust me, they all have their own "special" home--LOL!).  On yesterday, I wanted to wear them. I thought they would match a necklace I was wearing that day. I have a gold tone pair and two similar silver tone pairs. I went to their location to get them, but the lights were dim, and I didn't think I saw them. I thought they were the gold tone's silver twin. So, I said, "Goodness! That's the silver ones! I wanted the gold ones!" Something prompted me to look closer, but I was in a hurry, and I didn't. Instead I looked in other locations where the gold ones might have landed. I looked for a minute or two. Finally, I gave up and grabbed another pair. All the while something was prompting me to look again. I didn't look again. I refused to see! I was busy with life and no time to focus.
Today, it was the same story. I needed those earrings. I went back to look at the ones I had seen the day before. "Doggone! Where are my gold ones?" Again, God prompted, "Lisa, take those earrings out of their place, and look at them. Go ahead...look at them." I did, and you know the story. It was my gold earrings. "What? How in the world did I miss that?" I was embarrassed and shocked that I didn't see something so obvious. I missed out on wearing them yesterday, because I refused to see. It was right under my nose all along!
Isn't that the truth, though. How many times is the answer we are searching for right under our nose? How many times is it right in our face? The answer has a name. The obvious "thing" that we are missing can be called in a moment's notice. His name is Jesus. Yes, He is the obvious answer to all our frustrations, cares and concerns. He is all we need. He is our more than enough. Whenever life becomes crammed to overflowing, mostly by our own choices, and however tough the trail, we have an obvious and ready friend. He will wipe our tears. He will hold us tightly in his arms. He will restore our broken places. He will redeem our losses and give us grace for the journey. I don't want to miss Him. I want to see Him in the everyday and the mundane, as well as in the glorious. I don't want to miss the ones He places in my path to love. I don't want to hold back the love He has placed in my heart, because I am preoccupied with the cares of this life. I am so thankful for Captain Obvious who never lets me jump ship even when I think I might! He holds me fast and directs our sails forward. "Oh Captain, My Captain...I adore You!"

He Hideth My Soul

Today, while sitting alone in Holbrook Middle School's auditorium for a brief, but welcomed moment, I thought about that song "All By Myself...Don't want to be all by Myself...anymore". Actually, the opposite was true for me. It was lunch and the day was going at Presto Tempo! I felt as if I could hardly keep up. I was working with students, trying to stay afloat from the influx of insurmountable emails and troubleshooting as I could. I literally looked at my watch and thought the battery broke when it displayed 11:00 a.m. I honestly thought it was more like 9:30 a.m. The day was flying! I became sick to my stomach at one point during this three hour stampede and wasn't sure if I could finish the day.

I often forget that there is a Rock that is Higher than I. Psalm 6: 1-5 God, listen to me shout, bend an ear to my prayer. When I’m far from anywhere, down to my last gasp, I call out, “Guide me up High Rock Mountain!” You’ve always given me breathing room, a place to get away from it all. A lifetime pass to your safe-house, an open invitation as your guest.You’ve always taken me seriously, God, made me welcome among those who know and love you. I often forget that their are arms big enough to hold the universe. Arms that lovingly rush to scoop me up when I allow it. Arms that can stop the winds and the waves in a moments notice or guide me safely through the storms when I stop resisting long enough to permit him to do so. Today, I needed a pause. I didn't see it within reach, but God carved it out in the day especially for the one He loves!

It was during the mad-rush and working with students that we were totally unsuccessful at acquiring Internet access from the bandroom where we were working with a class set of Chromebooks. Fortunately, the teacher was flexible and the auditorium was free. So, we moved our Chromebooks, our lesson and our students to this facility. I was irked. This was not my plan, and it felt like things were getting worse. It wasn't until lunch time that I realized I had misjudged this blessing as a problem. Actually God was giving me quiet time in an amazing location.

The auditorium is a secluded building, separate and overlooked. As the students and the teacher departed, I realized I was alone in this massive place. I had a few moments to catch my breath in a place that held so many memories for me--a place that represented the seasons and milestones of my life. I first entered seventh grade here. It was a junior high, then. All the quirkiness, insecurity and many of the rites of passage that an adolescent experiences happened here. I hated seventh grade. I remembered the many trips to this auditorium afraid to make a sound as went entered on pain of death...or the paddle. Everything was so strict and uptight. I hated this school in those days. I remember standing on that stage and having my drama teacher berate me because my voice was too soft, so I learned to project it. This has proved to be a very helpful tool in my career. My sitting there in this auditorium all these decades later was proof that my mama was right. I not only survived junior high, but I gained from the experience. How interesting hind sight can be! Fast forwarding a bit, I remember very happy times in this auditorium. I was in All County Choral Ensemble, and we frequently performed and practiced in this auditorium with its outstanding acoustics. I loved singing and watching Mr. Tripp McGill direct us. He will always have a special place in my heart as he cultivated and nurtured my love of music! A little further down the road, I am a mom whose daughter is performing on this same stage in her cherished All County Choral Ensemble experience. She was radiant and has an even more distinct and natural musical talent that her father and I do. If I could plunge into the future to this time next year, my precious niece (who reminds me so much of my baby sister) would be here, and no doubt grace this same auditorium where she will build her own memories!

So, there I sat in Holbrook's Auditorium with this gift from a loving Father: time to reflect, recall, relive and revive! I savored the moment by turning on a song from my iPhone and singing. Ahhh! How awesome and forgiving the acoustics still are in the auditorium! His gift to me was time, the one gift you can't get back, exchange or reproduce. His gift to me was music. Outside of people there is little I love more. My gift to Him was a song of praise and a very grateful heart for this unexpected and totally welcomed moment that He graciously prepared ahead of time just for me.  Accident? No way! He is the ultimate Lover of Our Souls...and the extreme romantic! He wins this heart of mine that He created every single day!
"He hideth my soul in the cleft of the rock"....or the the aisle of an abandoned auditorium---whatever you need at that moment!


P.S. I love the story behind Fannie Crosby's song "He Hideth My Soul"!